emo ni.

i tengah emo ni. cos i am thinking.

thinking = emo

so practically i dont do thinking most of the time thats why i so happy. i am having problem deciding what to do. hmmph. lots of choice and my parents, yes, parents. nothing is ever pushy about them. they just like to push and push.

just let me wonder for one moment.

i will think later. when i sleep.

good news is, i am back! kick ass!! yes, my dear baby laptop is back. oh i miss you so much. i feel so lonely during the nights when you are not here. really. lost in lostland, will find way to dreamland.

there is so many things to do now. just today i was at ss15, some Australian edu fair. its really pushy there, must be cos pushy parents push me go. *smirk

honestly i have no aim yet, not planning something big that will change the world kind of thing. but i think parents, they really have high expectations. i know. i can feel the stare. black faces when i just dont submit my applications. i applied locally. of course. its like some safety thing..just in case. i never put hope in that tho. i just pray they dont give me some =.= course then i feel so stupid can already.

you know i wanna reject them professionally.

and yes, privates universities. they cost so much more, but i am not blessed with a brain like einstien so...pay more to get brainy. i think i should apply for scholarships. go interview and make sad face wonder can pass anot.

oh well.

theres wide range in what i can do. just the market demand and have to check if i go out still jobless then how to support myself. i dont believe in counting in my boyfriend or husband or something like that. its not really fair for that huge burden to be carried all alone. plus, dresses are getting really expensive these days.

i believe in that principle until i get married nothing is certain thing.

some are hard to keep too.

tomoro update. :)