ill miss you but im not going back there

its 2am in the morning, and i cannot shut my eyes. this is getting too usual for me. to sleep at such hours and wake up when its almost dinner time.

i just got off a conversation with zip, calling him my step brother sounds so wrong. no we made it unofficially. my  real mother has nothing gotta do with his mother. he has a perfect family by himself and i am no blood related to him, k? my kai kor :) the reason i am your kai mui is ridiculous, btw. hahaha

you have always been there didnt you? thank you so much. 

if there is someone i wanna beat up you will help me right? haha.

when you tell the truth its always going to be tough, but its going to clear off your mind off everything that you have been holding in eh? it eases my mind, by so much i think i could lift an elephant :D

sometimes guilt surrounds me, sometimes im surrounded by unlimited happiness that my jaws can get numb smiling that much for the whole day. i can remember everything ive seen, ive been thru so clearly, especially some things that matters to me so much but sometimes, not everything remembered is something you wanted to remember.

i wish i could rub off that one part of memory, but a memory will remain as long as it will be. how can i forget it by force, i wonder too.

you cant make everything you dont like dissapear yy, you cannot. you can just hold on and try to look on the bright side right? isnt it better that way, than to think of it that way.. whats the use?

:( i dont want to think. i dont want to know. i want to cry my ass off tonight. and hope ill feel so much better.

and this is for you, you know?