give me an answer

I really cant decide where is everything going in my life right now. At times i am so confident of my own decision and then suddenly i feel like if i take this leap, im going to regret it. Its like having a cold feet before the wedding starts, should i or should i not.

I hate making decisions, i always like to rely on people to give me second opinions to make a decision. Im afraid, if one day i took that path and ill regret it forever. Its really not easy, what am i supposed to do, what am i supposed to do..

At times i really dont want to be independent, i want someone who can actually think whats best for me and make that decision, i can be independent most of the time but vulnerable times like this makes me feel so weak.

I feel weak emotionally. :( how long is this going to haunt me. i dont want to be stuck in this forever.

I know i have nobody to blame, but myself. For giving in too much, for taking everything so positively until at one point, i suddenly realize its not worth it. Not worth it to be stuck in something that doesnt even make me happy, instead makes me frustrated most of the time.

Should i walk away?

If two souls are not meant to be together i cant force it. I cant hold on to something that doesnt make me happy. To think about it, im going to have to bear with this for years and perhaps, a lifetime. Can i? I dont want to. I dont want to regret. Perhaps someone else is much deserving, and perhaps you can find someone who really understands you better, and perhaps someone else can stand the silence that kills me slowly.

I never cared how people thought of us, i never took in or even listen, if that matters. We are not perfect to begin with, i know. But i cant accept it anymore. I suddenly cant do this anymore.

But what am i supposed to do if this thing right here doesnt make me happy but i dont want to hurt anyone either. I dont want to be mean just for the sakes of myself. I dont want to be selfish :(

I dont mind if you come and vent all your anger upon me but please, dont leave all of this hanging.