Homesick

Yes...yes.

Im homesick. Here i am holding Mao in my arms and looking at the blank white screen thinking of my mom and my tiny niece, who is probably slightly bigger now. Cant watch her grow as time pass by, one of my regrets.Of course there are other things in my mind but mostly, about home. I'm putting the stress of semester 2 of year 3 aside until maybe..next week?

"Aunty Y, when are you coming home again?"
:'((

My whole life ive known people who would run away from home if they are capable of supporting themselves, financially, obviously. You people are mean, BTW. I cant say it out to your face (yes, coward) but since this is my space and my thoughts, :)

The worst part of being away from home is probably the comfort of being in your own home sweet home. Im not implying that my room isn't a comfortable place to live in, it is. Too comfortable that i have problems waking up in the morning sometimes,but being at home in Malaysia, i get to enjoy the luxury of complaining when my tummy grumbles to my mom and food magically appears a few minutes later right at my doorstep, or maybe head to the kitchen and open my magical box called the fridge! At home my mom hired little hobbits to restock my fridge. How luxurious is that!

Staying away from home makes me miss my mom especially more. She has insomnia sometimes, waking up 3am in the morning and giving me the shock of my life whenever she appears behind me with the pink/blue rollers stuck on her head and long night gowns. Not those sexy ones, sadly. "What are you doing yyling? Its 3am, go to sleep." "Nothing, mummy." If its 3am here and someone stands behind me asking me what am i doing up..nope. Wont be conscious to know how i ended up in bed till next morning.

What im trying to prove is, ive been spending literally all my life this way and 3 years being away from home, i still cant find the fun of being away. Experience, independence, learning to work the stove. Ive done it all, and alas, i still miss home. I miss being ignorant of the problems around me. I miss my family..i miss screaming and yelling at my sisters when they tease me..and as weird as it sounds i miss my daddy's nagging, and his philosophy of a bright future. I probably hear the word "study" as frequent as the preposition "and".

a throwback of the day i left

I pray and pray that summer arrives faster, that the next semester will just breeze through, and by the time im done with everything ill be able to be home :) I miss home.