:)

Perks of having no expectations is that you really do get to be surprised :) even the tiniest wish and the smallest effort..they mean alot!

I'm not saying that i don't appreciate things when it's not as what I expected but what I'm saying is, when I don't expect anything...some stuff are better! I feel a tad more of joy and surprise and the surprise element is not missing!!! plus, im not sure if this is a proud thing to boast about but I'm an easily satisfied person. I don't need too much, just a little will keep me going.

Deep down I'm grateful that not everyone I care for is bad. Some cares and some don't. Some cares only when they are lonely and some cares only when they need someone to talk to or need something from me. Stuff like this happens..I know. People who don't talk to you regularly, you don't seem to exist in their sight and when they need something suddenly you're the apple of their eyes. Mm mmm mmm hmm.

I don't deserve to get angry because I know I'm a bad friend too. Haha. I prioritize my sleep too much and I'm a lazy person. Ill rarely/seldom make the effort to do anything to make anyone remember I love them so so much.

Thus I've distributed my chocolate supply to my lonely friends on Vday. To almost everyone I care about in class and to anyone I see! I'm sorry if some of them didn't receive my love..my classmates are fat people. They need more love, and more love = more chocolates. Hahaha

But there are too genuine care from friends who wishes you good at every celebration and reminding me how much they love me even though I'm far away, and I can never thank them enough for that.. <3

But to those who really care, thank you so much! :)

***

I no longer hope and no longer want to hope for efforts from other people. If someone wants me in their life they will put me there and not me, forcing myself and struggling to find a place. I'm a lady and ill embrace the fact that I can sit and watch the men make the effort! I need not feel disappointed of things that didn't happen or things that didn't work out because I know I tried.

That will apply to my Opx controls too..if I can't ace my mini tests at least I know I tried..hahahaha

:) happy valentines!